"We accept the love we think we deserve"

I think this is quite true. I thought I have found the "right one" hehehe , but as everyday goes by, I learned the real you. It is so weird that I was not able to discover who you really are and I wonder why until now, you are like a stranger that I have known from the very start. I tried to dig deep through your heart and somehow to know you better. Sad to say, I did not prevail. So I divert myself on things I have ever wanted ,travelled to places I have never been just to escape the loneliness and sadness I am feeling  everyday. And so this strategy still didn't help me. Hopeless romantic isn't it. Oh well, maybe that's what life has to offer me. But then again, the best way is to go back to where my heart is -- Home! 

Bogus

Some people are Real.
Some people are Good.
Some people are Fake.
Some people are "Real Good at being Fake".

A fake, sham, phony, bogus, etc.  viral all over the globe! Selling like hot potatoes. Buy one take one. What a shame!

And then again "The world is full of lies and deception, be careful to whom you give your heart to".  And so the beast lure me again into a situation where I became weak as always, but thanks to myself, I've discovered how that person didn't change at all, still the same confused bitch who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of life. I thought you've changed for the better but it seems the underground beast was really a bitch after all. I gathered all my thoughts,and finally made a decision that I will never regret -- that is never to deal with such a disgusting person, you never fail to disappoint me after all . It was all lies from the very start. You were never worthy of my time!

The world is full of lies and deception, be careful to whom you give your heart to.

priceless time

This caught my attention and i love it!

killing me softly

Emptiness is what I have been dealing with all this time and I don't know when will this end. I wish somehow someone would fill up my loneliness and emptiness but for now all I have to do is continue breathing and experience life unfairness, uncertainty and whatever you call it. For now, my everyday sucks!

bewildered soul

I'm lost ...

Welcome the Year of the Ox

Last year was full of surprises and blessings for me…Got a job that deals with multicultural people…learned a lot on how to deal with frustrations and how to have a whole lot of patience . Well what to do but to live what life has to offer.

Surprisingly, I never expected to finally meet the love of my life, face to face but for a short term only. A month full of love, drama, and adventures. Although for a short time only, I have discovered the undiscovered and never seen and felt the unimaginable. A love affair I wish never have to end, however, I was fortunate enough that chance was given to us to celebrate the most important part of our lives – the word called Love.

Amazing part was both of us traveling, enjoying each others company. Discovering places I have never been, from North to South. Never thought and felt so much pleasure sharing funny moments. Just looking at those pictures makes me miss you more each day. Definitely one of the best adventures I’ve ever had spending with the one I love. Funny moments at our overnight stay at a certain place called Cordillera Inn, my first time to stay in a place I thought was fascinating. On the lighter side, although it was a horrible journey, it was my most unforgettable moment spending with my sweetie. Going far South, so much excitement and astonishment to the beauty of nature. Relaxing moments at Villa Escudero, absolutely a place I would recommend for people who knows how to appreciate nature.

The sad part was for us to part ways, don’t know when will be the next time for me to feel that kind of love again. It was a good year for me and for the Year of the Ox hopefully have continuous blessings. Time to rest now, got a flu due to extreme coldness.

"When possible make the decisions now, even if action is in the future.
A reviewed decision usually is better than one reached at the last moment."
--William B. Given Jr.

Underground Beast

Revealing my thoughts and emotions in this blog helps me release unwanted revulsion by whoever human beings I encounter in my everyday life. At work, I deal a lot of hypocrites and experience prejudice. I somehow learned some shocking and revealing misbehaviors of my so called "wave allies". Then again I saw something that really disgust me, a sequel of my ... You thought I wouldn't know. Imagine your arteries, vein and capillaries bursting with wrath! This time it is way over the line my friend and it really disgust me reading that short conversations with a person whom you met in certain dating sites. Stupid! you didn't destroy it in your sent items folder but you obliterated it in your inbox folder. You're one insensitive creature but one thing I can assure you of is I never did these things to you and I am totally devastated this time, very disappointed and I feel betrayed of someone I almost gave my life to. Maybe this is the reward of what I've done in the past ....don't want to waste my time anymore. It's a good thing I have options now unlike before. Now if you'll convince me that this is nothing...that's GARBAGE!

Surreptitious Blaze

You thought I wouldn't know...although it didn't pushed through I had my intuitions right before..the first time I saw that portrait, it struck me and ask myself what's that image doing in your secluded sanctuary. It's about 9 am and still I cannot find peace and serenity, I don't know why this thought suddenly popped out of my mind and perhaps became the object of my attention. I carefully piled up these series of events and finally came to one conclusion, that is --
That is one thing I hate most, admitting something that transpired a century ago. It's a good thing I was able to figure out things on my own way unintentionally. Being cautious in everything we do will divert us from these tempting situations. Aware or not one must be brave enough to reveal what is not to be revealed.

virtual love

As I watch you sleep, I see myself helpless and wondering why I still manage to persevere despite the feeling of yearning.
As I watch you sleep, I sympathize you for letting yourself be the servant of others. Watching you exhausted and feel sick makes my heart devastated and wanting to cuddle you tight to ease somehow that restlessness and anxiety.
I want you to take care of your health because someday I would like to feel and enjoy the whole you, feeling your warmth embrace and gentle kisses.

It is true that in this world we live in everyone needs to survive but we must also be aware of the reason for our existence -- that is to experience happiness, love, and pain, etc. So the best thing we could do right now is to say "I love you." to people who cares and are close to our hearts. There's a saying that " we never regret our lives the things that we do, only the things that we don't "...
Happy Hearts Day everyone...

My precious Calla Lily (hahaha!) you are truly unique in your own ways and for that you remain to be the champion in my heart!

Thank you God for giving me another chance to discover and explore the world, another opportunity to be reunited with my fellow homosapien sapiens and hopefully being freed from the comfort zone I've been with through the past years. Taking risk and facing this stressful havoc world is one difficult trip one must surpass.

"Life indeed is a journey and arduous quest after Truth."

Insanity of silence...

Before I go for my slumber, I wonder why some people do the craziest and silly things that for a brief moment someone was there to give a hand when no one was around and all you can hear is the insanity of silence and feel the cold breeze embracing my fragile body. Funny isn't it? How would you feel if that chance was given to you? Will you ignore it and just let the night elapse thinking it will die into silence? Will that moment be a mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life or pretend that it's just a normal thing? Frankly speaking I too don't know the answer, so before making abrupt decisions think twice, thrice or a million times. Who knows maybe you're one of them... I can't blame you! Only humans beings were given the ability to do such foolish actions. It's done and there's no turning back! all you need to do is face reality and smile for that moment was an experience you'll never forget..never to be revealed and forever sealed in your thoughts.

Keychain

I got this entry from a dear friend...
http://dverythotofu.blogspot.com/2007/11/key-to-you.html


Key To You


of all the keychains in this world,
u gotta be
one of the finest.
unique. neat.
and classic.

ud surely put the other keychains to shame for
ur chain of a heart is so well-made that
the refuge it offers to desperate keys give
inexplicable happiness,
both to ur own holder and the keys themselves.
which rarely happens.

u carry urself so wonderfully that
the number of keys connected to u
do not matter.
it shud have been heavy and burdensome to others of ur kind but
u can balance them all without bein unfair.
ur honorable, righteous, honest.
u speak ur mind when necessary which
greatly inspires these keys to stay close to u.
for theyd understand that,
as harsh as ur words may sometimes be,
theyd understand, they were in very good "hands".
if they're ever wrong bout somethin,
ud be the very first one to tell them so.
with firmness and yet,
with tenderness and utmost compassion.

ur an adventurer.
u aspire to go to various places and
share the experience with everyone with
such enthusiasm that the keys cudnt help but feel honored,
for they feel like theyr also travellin
with the very kindhearted you.

bein with u makes everythin so cheerful.
the sounds brought by the janglin of keys all round ur chain
give color to the world
normally viewed as
dull, unexcitin, boring.

one thing that these keys do not know tho is,
u r a puzzle.
just when they thot they knew u already,
the truth of the matter is,
they dont.

u may be tough and strong
on the outside but inside,
ur longin for this special key
that wud open this
house of a soul
that u have.

a key that wud be there to unlock the intense emotions
bottled so thoroughly up deep within.
a special key that wud be a perfect fit
for an extra special keychain as urself.

dont lose hope.
for every keychain,
there's always a correspondin key that wud be with it
forever.

that special key still
exists.

all u need to do is,
wait. and.
have faith.

i dedicate this to one of the greatest friends iv been blessed to have.
u know who u are.
thank you bein includin me as one of the keys in ur keyholder.
ur one keychain i treasure so!
thanks for stickin thru,
my gratitude is endless.
labshu friend!

pathetic bomb.....

For some time now I have observed that some people are such "pathetic bomb" or should I say "pathetic losers"...why do I say that??? I just don't get it! If they are just playing dumb, dumber or numb or whatever you call it. Where are there neurons???Deteriorating??? Or worst, flushed out in the toilet harharhar. Why are some people unable to accept reality? why can't they just be contented of what they have right now instead of disturbing peoples lives...in short why don't they just get lost! lols. It makes me annoyed of such strange character that during the time of their relationship they should have done all the things that have made their relationship work! So why then after how many years they just show up trying to rekindle their past...are they dumb or what???What do they think of us??? An operated machine? That in a single push on button things will work just what they wanted it to be? That’s so ridiculous!...do you they think money can buy everything? Even ones' dignity or ones' soul? Do they think reminiscing their good times will bring their relationship back? That’s so pathetic!!! Guess what!!! As I was writing this blog two of these "pathetic bomb" suddenly popped out of no where and had conversation with me lolz...oh well I got one thing to say - - I just pity them... I just smiled and said to myself that I am happy and contented with whom I am with right now - - I am living a simple life without having any guilt in my conscience, I have my sapphos whom I dearly love...I may not have that extravagant lifestyle but I am proud to say that I am a genuine person with a simple ideology -- to brighten up people and to touch their hearts in my own special ways. Keep on dreaming because good things happen to people who are pure in heart.

questions unanswered...

finally i finished editing settings and templates on this account...so much thoughts in my mind right now...don't know what to do...don't wanna worry anymore "sigh" ...why does it have to happen to me???i thought everything will turn out fine but i was wrong... i feel so miserable...when will it be right time for me??? so much questions unanswered...time is running out...time to get back on what i've started before...my enthusiasm and determination to do it right this time...focus on what you want to become alright!!!

hilarious....

Oh my goodness! It's been ages since I last visited my blog and what the hell was I thinking of during those times (lol). I find my past post to be hilarious and dramatic harharhar. Hmmm what was i doin from july of 2006 to march 2007??? gosh it's been a year I haven't been here! I guess I was buzy during those times (lol), buzy with what???can't remember..I think I have a memory gap (lol). Can't believe what I've gone through during those months...lot of happenings I haven't written here, some are sad while some are fun. Oh well, time passed by and guess what.. I got somebody new in my life, my inspiration, my newly found love, my one and only - - Sapphos. What can i say? I found my love at the right time and at the right place, must be destiny? whatever you describe it...the important thing is we found each other. Got lot of changes in settings to do here, maybe i'll do that some other time, anyways it feels good to write again here specially that i'm inspired with thoughts of my sapphos who has been part of my everyday. I love you hun wherever you are whatever you do, you'll always be in my heart! As i write this, she's actually snoring right now (lol). Till the next post ...ciao!!!

"Every thought of you makes me feel I'm so much inlove with you."

humans...

it's been awhile since i haven't visited my blog .....been buzy & addicted downloading songs of nora jones & corrine bailey rae... thsse are the type of songs that gets me high, relaxes my mind ..kind of releases my tensions & negative thoughts. wallpapers lol i got 1 from the national geo website..im addicted to that site too , feeds my neurons that are dormant already lol ...well these things get my mind preoccupied right now instead of worrying things that decreases the production of my endorphins lol.....hmm what do i feel right now ..... i've finally freed myself...totally so so overed with my stressor hehehe......i think thats about it for now!

Human beings are such small creatures, aren’t they?
So don’t be too calculative on everything,
Treasure every moment, do what you wish to do……
Broaden your view, broaden your mind,
Don’t worry too much about things that are bothering you,
Do treasure your life, live safely and peacefully,
Always be happy to welcome the coming of the new day…..
Enjoy the sunshine…….Always look at the brighter side of the things………….

live life and be happy!

the sweetest thing....

its about past 2 am here ,i got a little headache ......as i was finding my document in my computer i came across my sweetest letter harharhar ....i cant remember if i got the idea from a poem ...anyhow i did composed it and it turned out to be one of my sweetest letter from one of my past relationships...so here it goes :

I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment is better than a life time of never knowing you.I just had to let you know,that my love for you is strong and will always continue to grow. You will always be close to me, in my heart. I will be there Whenever you need me!!!I hope I make you happy and smile despite the distance that separate us, just wanna let you know that i love you!!!! muahhhhh =)

so thats about it...hmm reminiscing again lol .......i guess when i did made this letter i was inlove then .....o well past is past but come to think of it- its great to fall in love ....to love and be loved....im eager to feel that moment again when all i can hear is that gentle whisper "je taime" from someone destined for me...o what the heck lol ....time to rest forget about the past and think about the future.

10 secrets!

....i got this from somebody's blog hehehehe........... something to read & to ponder about...

FIRST SECRET THE POWER OF THOUGHT
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about theirs and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his/her needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize him/her when you meet him/her.

SECOND SECRET THE POWER OF RESPECT
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, what do I respect about myself? To gain respect for others, even those you dislike, ask yourself, what do I respect about them?

THIRD SECRET THE POWER OF GIVING
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it. The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of you, freely and unconditionally. Practice random thoughts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give you but rather what you are able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong and loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

FOURTH SECRET THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each others eyes but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must first love him/her for who they are and not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which loves seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

FIFTH SECRET THE POWER OF TOUCH
Touch is one of the most powerful statements of love, breaking down barriers and bending relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

SIXTH SECRET THE POWER OF LETTING GO
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, then its your, if it does not, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of our past hurts and grievances. Love mean letting go of our fears, prejudices, ego and conditions. Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me today is the beginning of a new life!

SEVENTH SECRET THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word, as it could be the last time you see him/her. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you love, who would you call, what would you say and why are you waiting?

EIGHTH SECRET THE POWER OF COMMITMENT
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship to a strong one.

NINTH SECRET THE POWER OF PASSION
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences. When you feel passionate, spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

TENTH SECRET THE POWER OF TRUST
Trust is essential to all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, envious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust him/her completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, do I trust them completely and unreservedly? If the answer is no, then think carefully before making a commitment. We are born with two eyes in front because we must not always look behind but see what lies ahead beyond ourselves. We are born with two ears, one left and one right; so that we can hear both sides, collect both the compliments and criticisms. We are born with a brain concealed in a skull, and then no matter how poor we are, we are still rich and no one can steal what our brain contains. We are born with two eyes, two ears but one mouth for the mouth is a sharp weapon. It can hurt, flirt and kill: remember our motto talk less, listen and see more. We are born with only one heart, deep in our ribs and it reminds us to appreciate and give love from deep within. Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.